The Sorrow of Ritsu Namine
by Meimirigu
Summary: When society shuns him for being different, Ritsu feel like the world has come to an end. Will his friends help him through, or will life become too much for him?
1. Chapter 1

_And we should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once. And we should call every truth false which was not accompanied by at least one laugh. ~Friedrich Nietzsche_

**The Sorrow of Ritsu Namine**

"Ritsu, dear! You're gonna be late if you don't get up! I'm not gonna tell you again! Now, I'm leaving for work. I won't be home until quite late, so don't wait up for me. And please, try to have a good day. Alright, Ritsu?"

He heard his mother's desperate attempt to get him to school. He didn't see it though. His eyes were still closed, oblivious to the harsh light of morning. Still using his ears, he heard her clumsily slam the door as usual.

Only then did he slowly push himself into a sitting position, opening his eyes slightly. He sneezed. His cat, Choco, had slept next to his head, causing his allergies to act up. Sighing, he gently shoved the snoozing feline off of his futon. He then folded it, set it in the closet, and stood up to stretch. He reached high up in the air, then down to his toes, and yawned.

He quickly ran to the washroom, splashed some water on his face, and ran back to the main room of his small apartment to put on his plain public school uniform. He frowned at the few number of pleats in the skirt, but put it on anyways, along with his sailor uniform top. The scratchy fabric rubbed against his skin as he quickly checked to make sure he had everything in his small school bag. He dashed back to the washroom, briskly brushed his teeth, and slipped on his bulky school loafers. As he bounded to the door and began to turn the knob, Choco meowed, sorrowfully.

"Sorry, Choco. I've got to stop at the store after work and get you food. There's no more here." He lightly bowed at the cat in apology, and quickly turned the doorknob, leaping out of the door and dashing down the steps to school.

_No breakfast..._ he thought, his mind clouded with the thought of a long day and barely anything to eat. _Not even a bento box. Maybe Teto will give me something. _He ran down the street, passing large suburban houses that were much, much nicer than his and his mom's apartment. He pushed the grim thoughts out of his mind and tried to think of the good things. Like, the fact that the sun rose everyday. And that beautiful flowers can bloom from were dirt used to be.

"Ritsu! Hey!"

And that he had great friends.

Kasane Teto ran out of one of the big houses. "What's the rush? We're close enough to school so that we won't be late. Relax and enjoy the morning!" She gave him a hug. "So, how are you doing?"

"I'm alright. I didn't eat any breakfast, and I didn't have enough time to make my lunch. And I don't even have enough money to buy one."

"It's alright! I've got an extra lunch. I figured this would happen! Don't worry, Ritsu. Life will go on!" She made an impressive flourish in the air with her hands.

He laughed a bit at her optimism, and then smiled along with her.

Teto spotted Ruko, walking a bit ahead of them.

"Ruko! Hey!"

Ruko stopped walking and allowed them to catch up to her. As they reached her, Ritsu could see the morning tiredness in her eyes.

"I'm outta coffee." She held up an empty thermos and turned it over, showing them how empty it was. "I'm tired." She leaned on Teto.

"I'm sorry, Ruko. I know mornings are hard for you." She pet the sleepy girl, who reacted like a cat and began to rub her face on Teto's. Ritsu smiled at them both. Suddenly, he felt something hard hit the back of his head. He turned around.

"Useless cross-dressing boy! Why don't you wear the normal boy's uniform?" Leon teased. He threw another rock that hit Ritsu's face.

Ruko immediately snapped awake.

"You bastard!" She chucked her thermos at him, but he easily dodged it and laughed.

"You've got such awful aim, stupid hermaphrodite!"

Ruko's confidence snapped at that statement. Ritsu was used to the teasing, but it was far too taboo to speak about Ruko's gender. Her eyes began to water.

"C-come on guys, we don't have time to waste with this moron." She turned on her heel and proceeded to walk to school. Teto looked like she was going to say something, but instead she closed her mouth and scowled at Leon, sending him waves of hate with her eyes. He laughed at her and let it roll off of his back. And from there on, Ritsu's day only got worse.

* * *

Ritsu sat alone in homeroom. She only had one in there friend, Neru, because Teto and Ruko were in a different class. And even worse, Neru was always late, so until she got there, Ritsu had to either deal with being tortured by his classmates, or being completely ignored. He would rather be ignored. But today, the bullying was worse than ever.

"Hey, are you a gay, too? Or do you just cross-dress? Either way, you're totally useless, and nobody wants you alive. You should go up to the roof and jump." Miki and Nana Macne stood over him at his desk, tormenting him. The insults stabbed like daggers, but Ritsu tried to persevere. He tuned himself out from their harsh words, and thought about why they would feel the need to say such awful things to him. Was it because he was simply different? Were they for some reason jealous of him? Were they just evil people? Maybe there was something honestly wrong with him, and he deserved to be shunned by society. But there were people who loved him for who he was, so maybe there was something simply wrong with society in general?

"Everyone sit, class is starting." Their teacher directed suddenly.

Everyone sat in their seats, as Neru ran in the door.

"I'm not that late, am I?"

* * *

Lunchtime. One of Ritsu's favorite parts of the day. Ruko, Teto, and Neru sat around him at his desk, chattering. Ruko was still shaken by Leon's comment earlier, so she was quieter than usual, but she was still happy, and that lifted Ritsu's mood.

Neru fiddled with her cellphone. "I'm getting hate mail. It's mostly for you, Ritsu, and they send it to me cause you don't have a cell phone. Morons. Why do people hate other people?" She scowled as she deleted the messages without reading them.

Ritsu gratefully ate the lunch Teto made. It was really sweet, and had some pretty expensive looking foods in it. He ate silently, remembering Miki's comment from earlier. Should he just kill himself?

"I love you, kid!" Haku appeared out of nowhere and hugged him from behind. She was their upperclassmen, but she loved to come and visit them during breaks. "You're looking cuter than usual today, kid! Oh, hey, did any of you catch that anime last night? It was amazing!"

Neru scowled at her. "I didn't know you were an otaku!"

"I'm not! It's just impossible to avoid seeing anime on television these days! And some of it's pretty good honestly!"

Lunch really was the best time of day for Ritsu. During this time, he really knew the meaning of strength in numbers. Time with all of his friends was the best, but he knew that after class started again, there would be more teasing.

* * *

After school, everyone went their separate ways. Ritsu went home to change out of his uniform and went back out, to go to work. He entered the convenient store were he was a cashier. He was grateful for the job, considering the only reason he had it was because the guy who hired him really thought he was a girl. _I feel deceitful, having this job... _but he went, anyways, because he really needed the money. It was an okay job, though it didn't pay well at all and the work was repetitive, but Ritsu was happy to get whatever he could.

* * *

After working for three hours, he was tired and needed to get home, but he still had to work one more. Night had fallen quickly. Ritsu was sweeping the floors in his free time, because of the lack of customers. He was humming a song he knew well, when the automatic doors opened and a customer walked in. He turned around and was about to greet them, but he stopped short. The customer was none other than Leon.

"Cross-dressing boy? You work here?" He started to laugh coldly. "Still dressed like a girl? Moron! When are you going to kill yourself?" Ritsu's boss overheard Leon and came out from the back of the store.

"Cross-dressing...boy?" He turned red with rage and embarrassment.

"I'm sorry, B-boss! But if I hadn't lied then-"

"Get out! I don't need a _tranny_ driving off customers!"

That was it. The last straw. Ritsu burst into tears on the spot. He dropped the broom he had been using and ran out of the store. There was no looking back now. He couldn't take it anymore. He had been a burden for everyone.

He was the one who had caused his mom to work overtime.

He was the one who couldn't even feed his cat, because he barely had the money.

He was the one who let Ruko get hurt as well.

He was the one who everyone hated, because he was different.

And then, he had caused everyone to worry.

He was the one who had caused it all, by being alive.

So now, he was going to take everyone's advice, and he was just going to give up.

And die.

* * *

_Hey there. I just wanted to say that this is a bit more dark than the other story I've been writing (The Everyday Adventures) and I hope you liked it so far. If after reading this story, you're feeling down, you might want to go read that, considering how it's much happier. There's only going to be one more chapter in this story, so I hope you look forward to it. Please review!_

_And here's some questions for you. If you saw someone being bullied, would you step in to help? Do you believe everyone is equal, no matter who they are? Don't you think people who hate are awful, even though sometime in your life, you've probably hated too?_

_Be wonderful. ~Meimei_

_The tongue like a sharp knife... Kills without drawing blood. ~Buddha_


	2. Chapter 2

_All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson_

**The Sorrow of Ritsu Namine ~**_ Part two_

His hair fluttered in the midnight wind as Ritsu dashed down the street. It was freezing out, and he had left his work without a coat. The air tore at his skin, but he didn't care. He deserved the pain. The streetlights shined, but the light was useless, as everything in Ritsu's life was spoiled and rotten. The waves of hate and bitterness resonated from him like ocean waves during a storm. He felt awful, and his chest was tight. The world had come to an end in his eyes. Everything was corrupt and dirty. There was nothing left in front of him except more darkness.

He stopped at a tall building and caught his breath. He opened the door and ran inside.

* * *

Teto and Ruko were sitting around Teto's house. Of course, the one time that Ruko wasn't tired a all, there was nothing to do.

"Hey, Ruko."

"Yeah, Teto?"

"Ritsu's getting off of work about now. We could invite her over."

"That would be nice. She had a tough day, she could use friends."

Teto's phone chimed. She picked it up and looked at the glowing screen.

It was an unknown caller. The name read 'Anonymous'.

"Hello?"

Ruko looked at her. Teto's eyes widened as she let out a gasp.

"...a-alright..." She closed the phone and quickly got up to throw on her jacket.

Ruko blinked a few times. "What is it?"

Teto turned to look at her. "It's Ritsu. Let's go."

* * *

Ritsu stood at the top of the building. The wind was even stronger up here. Frozen tears streamed down his cheeks as he let out a whimper. He knew this would help everyone, and it would make everyone happier, but honestly, he didn't want to kill himself. He bit his lip as he stepped closer to the edge of the roof.

A door burst open behind him.

"Ritsu! Don't go any further!" Teto yelled to him.

He stayed totally calm. "I'm sorry." He turned around and to his surprise, more people stood there than he thought. Teto, Ruko, Neru, Haku and surprisingly, his mother, stood there, all with looks of pain on their faces.

_I made them worry. I have to end this._

"How did you know I was here?" Ritsu's tone was flat and serious.

"Leon called me. He said he went to far. He felt awful and got worried."

Ritsu stood stiff, unblinking.

"But how did you know that I would be at this building? How'd you know I wouldn't be at home?"

"We checked there. We checked every one of your friend's houses. He even checked your mom's work." She motioned to the people around her. "That's why we're all here. And as how we'd know it was this building, well, something in your past told me you'd commit suicide here if anywhere."

* * *

_It was a winter day, and the snow had already fallen. Ritsu's cheeks were red from the cold. He was only a little kid, so he did exactly as he was told._

"_Stay here Ritsu. I'm sorry, but I can't handle having you or your mother in my life anymore." A man in a brown coat stood up. "Goodbye." He walked away, and Ritsu didn't do a thing to stop him._

_Ritsu sat on the park bench in front of his school all night. Snow began to fall, and Ritsu realized what had happened. He had been abandoned, and his father didn't want him._

_He began to cry out of true sorrow, and it was the truest sorrow he had ever known. And he had known it at only six years old, but he never forgot that feeling of pure loss.

* * *

_

He clenched his fists and gritted his teeth as a new wave of tears stained his face.

"Ritsu, please! Let's go home!" His mother pleaded desperately at Ritsu, who was now dangerously close the the edge of the building.

"I'm sorry mom. I've caused you trouble. You won't have to deal with me for much longer."

* * *

_He was wearing a dress. He loved it. Dressing as a girl let him release from his weighted male personality. All of the bad memories flew out of the window when he put on girl's clothes. He didn't have to remember anything. He felt lighter than air. For the first time in two years, he smiled.

* * *

_

He didn't feel all the hate and regret and guilt anymore. All he felt now was sorrow, as memories flooded his mind. His body moved on it's own, and his head spun.

"I'm not sorry. I'm not sorry at all. It's not you who I'm angry at. It's not you. Not any of you. You guys tried so hard to keep me happy and sane, but It's over now." The wind blew his hair out in a sudden furious gust.

"Ritsu, please..." his mother pleaded again, salty tears streaming down her now face as well.

"No, I can't do it anymore. Thank you, for everything that you've all done." His voice cracked at the end and he looked at them all with sorrowful eyes.

"_Goodbye."_

He turned away from them.

He took one step closer to the edge.

And he fell.

* * *

_Hey again. I know, I said last time that this would have only two chapters, but I need to take that back and make it three. Next chapter will be soon, though. Please tell me what you think. Reviews are so wonderful! Even if you don't like leaving reviews, please do it for me! I'll give you a cookie! Seriously though, please give me a review. You can even say mean things, as long as they aren't too harsh. Harsh things make me cry. In fact, I almost started crying while writing this chapter. I'm far too sensitive. Well, thanks for reading, even if you decide not to leave a review. Seriously though, you should write one. Seriously. Stay wonderful. _~_Meimei_

_No one can confidently say that he will still be living tomorrow. _~_Euripides _


	3. The Final Sorrow

_Things do not change; we change. ~Henry David Thoreau _

**The Final Sorrow of Ritsu Namine**

The feeling of falling wasn't really bad, but it wasn't exactly wonderful either.

Ritsu felt as if he was floating very slowly, rather than toppling off of a building at full speed.

At first, he felt so heartbroken and sorrowful that he couldn't breath. But as he fell, he realized that he had never _really _tried to stop anyone from teasing him. At first, he gently asked them to stop, but as he found that they wouldn't listen to him, he just stayed quiet. He should have talked. He should have objected. But seeing as it wouldn't help to think about this now, Ritsu let it go, and figured that fretting now was a waste of time.

And then, as he continued to tumble through the air, he realized that nothing was his fault. It wasn't anyone's fault. It would do no good to blame anyone, and those who hurt him were simply narrow minded. They couldn't change what they thought was right. It was what they thought, and they had every right to think that way. Maybe something, someday, could change their stubborn minds, but for now, they would remain unknowing and quite frankly, immature.

And suddenly, a wave of regret passed through him, making him feel sick. Why had he jumped? What was the point of this? He had to take it back! Killing himself wasn't just getting rid of him, it was killing those who loved him! His Mother, Teto, Ruko, Neru, and Haku. And he wasn't making anyone happy. Leon, Miki, and Nana wouldn't get a thrill out of him being dead. It would bring them sorrow and pain, and horrible, deep, stabbing regret. Even though they probably deserved it, Ritsu didn't want anyone to feel that.

And committing suicide wouldn't heal the wounds that were torn in his heart. He would never forget those painful memories. Making his heart stop wouldn't stop the memories as well. They would remain, like thin wisps of smoke, and cling to those who loved him. They would continue for generations and generations, until someone forgot about them. And Ritsu knew, they were not easy to forget.

As he fell, hundreds of emotions flooded him, and billions of memories, good and bad, haunted his mind.

"_RITSU!"_

He heard a sickening crack, and suddenly, he saw nothing.

* * *

The first thing Ritsu felt after falling was Love.

Real, true, pure, untouched love.

And the first thing he saw was a sickeningly white wall. Or rather, ceiling. And it was absolutely beautiful.

"OHMYGOD RITSU!" He was laying on his back, and suddenly felt oddly strong arms wrap him in a hug.

"Iwassoscared! Ritsu! Ritsu!" His mother was crushing him, breaking his bones.

And then he realized that some of them were already broken.

He wasn't in heaven, he was in a hospital.

The sudden realization that he wasn't dead knocked any drowsiness that was in him right out. His eyes widened as he looked around and found that all of his friends, all of the people who he loved, were standing around his hospital bed.

Teto stood, tears streaming down her flushed cheeks. "I...was so s-scared...Ri-ritsu!" She started bawling harder than his mother.  
He gasped as he tried to grasp the fact that he survived.

Ruko began to sob too. "You moron! You can't just go and kill yourself!"

Teto gasped for breath through sobs. "Y-you really are indeed a fool!"

By now Nero was crying too, and even Haku.

Haku fluffed his hair. "I'm happy you're alive, kid!" She grinned as tears poured down her face.

Ritsu blinked several times, as having this many people around you as soon as you wake up can be quite overwhelming.

"...Ritsu." He looked to his left.

And to his surprise, there stood Miki, Leon, and Nana.

"We're... so, _so, SO_ sorry!" Miki began crying with huge, breathy sobs.

Ritsu looked to Leon, who appeared to be trying to not cry as well. His lips were pursed and his expression serious, but his eyes were clearly watering.

Ritsu smiled at him, accepting his, Miki's, and Nana's apology with his gaze, and that made Leon crack. He cried silently, trembling, as tears streamed from his eyes.

Ristu could tell that he was truly sorry and that his narrow mind had widened.

He laughed a bit to himself, and at his stupidity. He should have looked upon the world with a brighter view.

And then he laughed at the people who were crying all around him. There was no reason to cry. Suddenly, he realized that he, himself, was crying lightly as well.

He hugged his Mom tighter. He felt more loved now than he ever had, though nothing had really changed.

He looked to the window, were it was gently snowing outside, and he smiled.

It was a beautiful day.

* * *

_Hello! That was a nice ending right? I apologize to those of you who thought Ritsu was truly going to die, but I can't handle killing him! He's too wonderful! And for those of you who think it was too much of a stretch to let Ritsu survive a fall like that, I never specified how tall the building was, I don't think. So there! Maybe it wasn't tall enough!_

_Also, it was Ritsu's birthday yesterday, so I couldn't kill him, surely not. I love him too much!_

_Anyways, I'm thinking I'll do an epilogue after this. And then maybe like a sequel or something? Maybe not, I have no idea. This thing was supposed to be two chapters, so I don't know. Let me know what you think! I need your reviews or I'll stop writing! Maybe!_

_...and now I'm crying. It was a moving experience, writing that story._

_Become more wonderful! Until next time, ~Meimei_

_Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact. ~ William James_


	4. The Happiness of Ritsu Namine

_A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge. ~Thomas Carlyle_

**The Happiness of Ritsu Namine**

After what happened, Ritsu's life was entirely improved.

He had recovered quickly, and surprisingly hadn't broken many things in the first place.

It really was a miracle.

He walked to school now, with Teto and Ruko by his side once again. It was spring now, and there were cherry blossoms on the trees. The whole new feeling after a long winter was quite mood lifting, and Ritsu was in high spirits. Birds chirped as the sun sparkled Happily.

Things had really gone well since the incident. His mom got a job at the hospital, after becoming friends with all the doctors and nurses. She was payed pretty well. As far as Ritsu's job, his boss apologized, but Ritsu didn't take the job back. He needed time to think, and the long hours at the convenient store weren't working out.

And Ritsu's cat had more food than she could eat.

"Ritsu! Hey! Guys, wait up!" Miki called to them, running.

Miki had become oddly close with Ritsu after what happened, and seeing her made him smile. Her opinions on many things had changed over the winter. Also, her family was wealthy and had payed all of Ritsu's hospital bills.

Honestly though, she got annoying at times, because she was always doing things for Ritsu and his friends, to make it up to them. But in Ritsu's mind, she had no debt to him the instant she realized that cross-dressers were people too.

"Hey, guys, I'm hosting a birthday party for my little sister tomorrow. Could you three help me set it up? It would be really fun, and it wouldn't be like work or anything."

Ruko gave Miki an icy glare. She still held a grudge against those who had hurt Ritsu. She was about to say no and throw an insult or two, but Teto butted in.

"Sure! We'll be there! It's at your house, right?"

"Yep! Just come over after school tomorrow. Thanks so much!"

Miki ran ahead of them to meet up with Nana.

"Damn it, Teto! Why did you agree to go?" Ruko snapped, oddly awake.

"She's changed, Ruko, she deserves our friendship. Don't be such a fool."

"A fool? Hey, you're the one who's a fool!"

Ritsu tuned himself out of their bickering. He spotted Leon a bit ahead in the crowd of people walking to school, but he didn't move to greet him.

Shortly after the incident, Leon had come out to say that he was Gay.

It came as a shock to everyone, but it made sense. He was scared to come out about it, so he tormented Ritsu to blend in. Ritsu decided not to call out to him, only because he felt that Leon needed to cope with it himself.

Nobody cared that Leon liked men. And it was because after everyone heard about Ritsu's attempted suicide, they all became open minded. He had heard rumors that several other people had come out about their differences. Ritsu had changed the school's way of looking at things, and he had changed his town's too. He had been in all the local papers, and there had even been protests a few towns over declaring that everyone had rights and everyone was equal.

So, Leon still had all of his friends, and more. He didn't need Ritsu to call out to him. Leon was still very kind to Ritsu though. They were working on a project together in History class, and they worked very well. Since the incident, Leon had changed more than anyone, with the Exception of Ritsu himself.

Ristu breathed in the sweet spring air as the wind made his skirt flutter, and he knew, that even though trying to kill himself hadn't been a good idea at all, it had made so many people think. And that was all Ritsu needed to live a life full of happiness.

* * *

_The end! Thanks for reading! You're all wonderful. I'm under the impression that I really made people think. Maybe I changed someone's mind about something?_

_Anyways, even if you already have, please review. Tell me what's on your mind._

_Stay just as you are, until next time, ~Meimei_

_Hatred does not cease by hatred, but only by love; this is the eternal rule. ~Buddha_


End file.
